Reflections on the Way to Work

      On a cold, crisp, sunny, December day, with a beautiful blue sky scattered with glistening white puffy clouds, a man stood alone in reflection on the church steps waiting for his future daughter-in-law to arrive at her wedding to his son who, along with his twin brother, represented the fourth generation of doctors in his family.   At the same time, somewhere in the world, a stranger sat alone, given up at birth, not knowing his heritage or if he had a brother or a sister, cousin, aunt or uncle, with a deep yearning to know, that it is debilitating to his existence.

        While strangers, these two individuals share a common bond – one by choice, the other by circumstance. The bond is abandonment, the result is loneliness. One yearns to find his family, while the other with all the knowledge of his heritage and familial belongings, is content to cease communication or interaction with his family but deep down, on a special wedding day, he felt the same emptiness in the absence of his family, in particular, his elder aunt, the only remaining relative of the previous generation. The contrast is the continual struggle in all of life to want something you don’t have and to not appreciate what you do have until it is lost or gone or too late.

      This time of year reminds us of movies such as “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “White Christmas” and the human longing for love, happiness and goodness. When given up at birth, it is easy to yearn to know and wonder about your past. However, it is important to not lose sight of the blessings that one has in the family and friends surrounding them. For the father-in-law in waiting, while this is the season of unconditional love, to continue to harbor conditional love based on one’s own expectations of others, misunderstandings, pettiness or reasons, even unbeknownst to him, is not healthy.

      The true meaning and purpose of life, in particular, at this time of year is about love – love of family, friends and strangers. Celebrating the value of family and friendship is important. The message to these two men is applicable to all of us. For the man whose birth family is not present, never forget the blessings of your “adopted” family and friends that touch your life everyday with love. For the other man, it is important to reflect on and remember the love and kindness that was bestowed on you throughout your life by your family. Cherish your family and appreciate what you have before you, never forget that others yearn for the opportunity to have the love that you had. Take time this season to make peace with your family.

      On that brisk December day, as the black wedding limousine van drove past, a father saw a reflection, real or visionary, in the side view mirror of memories past of his family. During this holiday season, may he and each of us embrace the holiday spirit for it is the spirit of love that should prevail over any feelings of anger or bitterness that harbor deep within. This is the time of year to embrace compassion, kindness and love.

      My wish for each one of us this season is to take time to reflect on our own lives and to share the true meaning of the season with family and friends by bringing tidings of joy, peace and love to their lives and to those that we have lost communication with along the way or to show an act of kindness to a total stranger.

    Best wishes for a happy holiday season and may 2018 be filled with forgiveness, peace, love, compassion, kindness and good health.