Reflections on the Way to Work

For years there has been a man who stands on the train platform waiting for the same train as me.  He is an Asian man, maybe 5’2”, small built, groomed black hair and in the fall and winter he wears a long, brown leather trench coat.  He stands perfectly straight, in the same spot on the platform by the stairwell and looks at no one, he stares reflectively over the tracks with no emotion.  Every morning it is the same.  Never a deviation in his emotion or pattern of standing on the platform.  In the spring and summer, it is the same minus the trench coat; he dresses in beige khaki pants and a polo shirt.

Coincidently, he takes the same train home as I do.  On the way home, it is the same expressionless face and pensive stare.  His home bound behavior never deviates either.  He gets up from his seat at the train station before, stands in front of the exit door and looks at his reflection in the glass of the window, sometimes he nonchalantly stares at the others standing to exit too but he never makes eye contact with anyone.

I once created in my mind an imaginary movie on this man by the same title as this reflection because I am so intrigued by the mystery he portrays.

I am by nature a very sociable person and to see an expressionless person day in and day out is intriguing to me.  I wonder what he does in life? Is he married? Does he have children? A partner?  Why is he always expressionless and withdrawn? Is he depressed? Just anti-social? I wonder if he is engaged in some type of espionage activity that prohibits him from engaging is the pleasantries of platform small talk because he is afraid of leaking his true identity.

Perhaps he is just bored with his routine existence and it manifests itself in his behavior.  Maybe I will never know or maybe, just maybe, one day I will be able to break his code of existence and find out the mystery behind the man in the brown trench coat.

Whatever the mystery is behind this man, it made me think of whether other people on the platform feel like they live a routine existence.  I wonder if others waiting for the train feel that their routine existence in their lives is boring and they are just camouflaging it in forced smiles and small talk on the platform.  Maybe this man is just being honest with himself while everyone else is portraying that they are living the dream but deep down their routine is boring to them.

Conceivably, others might actually enjoy their routine existence and not find it boring because routine gives them a sense of stability, direction and purpose and that is their dream and their happy faces are genuine.

It made me think about daily routines and whether or not it is good or bad.  I like routine because it gives structure to one’s day and life.  However, the routine can get boring.  I remember when I worked in Westport and an elder friend of mine said “Do you get bored taking the same road to work and taking the same path?”  I hadn’t really thought about it but I did take a different path a few days and it was nice, you saw different things you wouldn’t have normally seen or known about. It made me feel like I was doing something different.  But being a creature of habit, I went back to my routine path to the office.

Even in NYC you can take the same streets to the office, or the gym, or lunch and it can get boring.  I always eat lunch at my desk and one day this week I decided to take a walk.  It was so nice, I felt like I was in a different world.  Spoke to two strangers, with totally different backgrounds than mine, one was having a bad day and needed someone to vent to and the other was having a great day and looking forward to the weekend. For each of us, the diversion of small talk with a stranger took us out of our world momentarily and gave us fresh perspective on life.

If you have read my other reflection on “Scoot Over” you would know that I sit in the same seat on the train, and if I don’t, I stand.  You know routine and habit are bad when strangers know yours.   One morning I was standing but my seat was available and another man who gets on the train the stop after me got on the train and pointed to “my seat” and said, “are you going to sit there”, and only after I said no, he took the seat.

You don’t really think that others know your routine and habits but they do and for others, you become a part of their routines.  For example, if I am late at the newsstand, the proprietor says, you are late today, how come; or where have you been, I haven’t seen you in a few days.

Changing your routine could be good for you (and obviously for others too!).  It doesn’t have to be a big change, it can be taking a different path to work; going to a lecture one night after work; speaking to a stranger at the station or on the street; spontaneously taking a day off from work because it is either beautiful and you want to spend it outside or its raining and you want to spend the day at home cozying up with a book or in front of the television.  Doing something different like taking a class to learn something totally new, maybe exploring your artistic side or if you are artistic, taking an investment class.  The point is that the same routine can become monotonous so it is good to change it up a bit.  Whether it be a small change or something really big like moving to a different state, taking a new job, taking an extended period of time off, change is good but obviously, the larger the change the more analysis needs to be to considered  as well as the ramifications and impact that the change will create in your life.

Some people live a life in constant change by choice and for them, the routine is constant change and that is good too because they are in a constant state of having new beginnings.  It is not for everybody and even the constant routine of change can become boring and overwhelming.  However, for the average person, constant change is not realistic or possible, so balancing routine and change is the path that needs to be taken for most.

Going back to the man on the platform, one night he was walking in front of me in the parking lot and finally a glimpse of life – he saw a Caucasian woman that he knew, they embraced, exchanged a few words and surprisingly, his blank expression changed and he had the biggest smile on his face.  In all the years I have been observing this man, this is the first time ever that I saw a change of expression.  My imagination ran wild again, was this his wife? Lover? Mother of his children’s friend? A music teacher to his children? Whoever she was she was able to break his code of emotionless expression.  He really is human!

One day, maybe I will get up the nerve to actually try and break through the wall of mystery for myself and once and for all find out about  the man on the platform in the brown leather trench coat, but until then, he will always remain an enigma to me!

There is a quote by Henry van Dyke, “As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.”

Routine provides a good and strong base, however,  I believe routine should be balanced with diversion, explorations and change because these are the buds of life, imagination, dreams and hope and provide each of us with the nourishment to do and be more.

As Bruce Springsteen’s song says, “can’t start a fire with out a spark”……so change your routine and find diversion that will spark the fire in your soul.